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User blog:Malurus2000/When YJF Walks Into a Bar...
There once was a thing. This thing was called "YJF". *But people called it a "he". *Funny thing too, being "he" liked guys. *And not in the brotherly-like fashion. *So, he walked into a bar, because normally, that's where people walk, apparently. *So, when he walked into the bar, he noticed he was hurt.Then, in a strange twist of fate, Mal's wifi cut out for a few seconds. *This stopped time itself for poor YJF. *And by poor, I mean centless. *So, after he walks into the bar, someone shows him the door. *He didn't quite know that he was supposed to open it until someone else did. *Anyways, finally he walked inside the bar. *Then he stood there. *He was then pushed out of the way by an angry customer. He was called this because he was angry, he cussed, and he was a tomer. *So, YJF then walked up to one of the barstools. *He then was told that he was supposed to sit on them. *After THAT was over with (thank all that is good), the bartender got to asking him, "What do ya's want t' drink, pal?" *"I'll drink a beer." YJF replied. *"What kind? This bar's full of beers, pal!" The bartender was irritated. *"Can't you just give me any beer?" YJF asked. *"Sure, pal, that I can do..." The bartender curled his lips into a snarl of sorts. *He then brought out a small bottle, with a fancy label. *"Here, pal. Drink up." The bartender laughed. *Of course, being throughout this whole story, YJF was told what he needed to do, he took the advice of the man. *When he took his first sip, however, he spat it out. *"This isn't beer! It doesn't taste like the kind I had, anyways." He gasped. *"There's more den one type of beer, pal." The bartender literally had the blankest face in the world. I mean, seriously, if I could take a picture of it and show you, it would be the most "I don't even" face you've ever seen. *"There is?!?" YJF said genuinely surprised. The bartender's face didn't change, if not turn even more so of "I don't even". *Which is physically impossible for any other human to replicate, unless they get in a similar situation with YJF. *Something I never wish for anyone to get into. *Anyways, the bartender proceeded to watch as YJF drank everything in his bottle. *"Ya gonna pay fer dat, pal?" By now, even though it was natural to call anyone "pal" for him, he was tiring of it, because he knew he was addressing someone who didn't deserve such a title, even used sarcastically. *"Pay? Isn't everything free under Obama's laws?" YJF... Oh, YJF... Almost true, but you know that it's the taxpayer's dollars who pay for that under a technical legal program. *One you never signed... *"No way, pal! I gave ya the most expensive bottle we had! Ya gotta work it off now!" *Of course, the bartender lied, this bottle was the cheapest thing they had, but he wanted some work out of this piece of filth. After an hour of having YJF work for them, however, they decided it would be better to send him to jail then to deal with him. *However, the jailers thought it would be better to send him to Hell than to deal with him, so they sentenced him to death. For not paying for a cheap bottle of beer. If only we had a legal system like this story. *Hell, however, when they received him, didn't want to deal with him either. *But unfortunately, this was God's ultimate plan. To punish all those in the pit of sulfur, with mental and physical agony. The physical agony was to gaze upon YJF. The mental agony was to live with YJF. *Hallelujah and amen. Category:Blog posts